God continues to speak to me through so many various songs lately as we travel this journey. On Easter Sunday morning, we were singing a song I've sung countless times in my lifetime. I had even prepared the PowerPoint slides for Sunday's worship service, but the relevance of the words didn't truly sink in until I was staring at the words on the wall as we sang, "How sweet to hold a newborn baby . . . but greater still the calm assurance, this child can face uncertain days because He [God] lives." ("He Lives," Gloria Gaither | William J. Gaither; © 1971 William J. Gaither, Inc.) Such a perfect reminder for me, especially when my heart's desire is to live what I truly believe. Since I believe that I serve a living, loving God whom I can trust with all of my heart, then I can trust my children's "uncertain days" to Him.
And then there's a Casting Crowns song I first heard at a concert I recently attended. Just purchased the album two weeks ago and had a chance to really listen to it yesterday as I was cleaning my kitchen. "Just Be Held" has such beautiful words and a beautiful message:
So we continue on this JA Journey, knowing that God is painting beauty with the ashes and our lives are in His hands. We ARE finding Him in the storm, and where we are, He holds our hearts. We can come to Him, find our rest, in the arms of God who won't let go. (from "Just Be Held," by Mark Hall, Bernie Herms, and Matthew West)
Since I last updated this blog, we've had a flurry of activity, putting plans into place, and Anna has had her first Remicade infusion. No problems, really, so far. Anna doesn't always like to broadcast what's going on with her life (she wants to be known for who she is as a person--her character qualities--, and not for her diseases), but last week it was time to explain exactly what's going on to the staff at her high school. She's been missing quite a bit of school for appointments, and will now be missing more because of infusions. She had just been telling them, "I have health issues, so my absences are necessary." There comes a time when the people you deal with on a daily basis need a few more details, and it was time. (I'm SO thankful for the school district we live in---couldn't ask for more understanding staff there.) She does have a lot to catch up on (not much gets studied or worked on during an infusion day---just mostly sleep).
I feel like some of the pieces of our life's puzzle are fitting together lately (at least as far as scheduling). The first few Remicade infusions are now on the calendar, and some insurance details have been worked out for Anna's wisdom teeth extraction (they need to use a surgical room for that, because of the structure of her jaw and the way her tongue sits---the oral surgeon feels it's medically necessary, and insurance didn't want to cover that cost at first). We also decided that we needed to wait until school is out to have that done. So we now have that scheduled for the week after school lets out (two weeks after the June infusion). That's helped to know when to schedule her next visit to the orthodontist in Lancaster. As of right now, I don't have any short-term medical appointments that are up-in-the-air, waiting for another detail to be in place before I can nail down a specific date.
I HAVE found some definite positives lately: Anna's eye inflammation is down to a 1+ (while still concerning and not good, it sounds a whole lot better than a 4+!). I was able to take all of her unused, leftover medications (Cyclosporine, Methotrexate, Leucovrin, Lidocaine for mixing with the Humria, etc.) out of the "Anna's Medication Box" on the counter and put them up in the cupboard for now. Anna says it's a little strange not to have to remember to take medications at home (besides the eye drops she currently uses). We are VERY thankful to stop the Cyclosporine. Anna had a list of side effects that she was experiencing, even after just a few days of taking it. It's good to find little things to celebrate and be thankful for. We have NO appointments this week! That's definitely cause for celebration!!!
I was reminded this morning of our purpose and goal. In all of life, in the good and the bad, our prayer is that we remain "a witness to the resurrected Jesus." (Thank you, Pastor Dean, for those words.) Because Jesus lives, we can face tomorrow. We don't need to fear. We know He holds the future. Life is worth the living (even when troubles come) because He lives. (Happy Easter one week late!)