For Such A Time As This . . . . .

Just over a month ago, Anna and I were on our way to Hershey for an appointment with her retina specialist.  As I was driving, a classic song played on the radio:  "For Such a Time As This" by Wayne Watson (from back in the 1980's).  We listen to WJTL (FM90.3) out of Lancaster, which is not a classic station---they play mostly newer Christian contemporary music.  I know the song; I like the song, and I remember this because for the rest of that April morning, I thought about the words of the song in relation to my life and what we were doing that day.  I even posted a status on my Facebook page that day (April 19th) from the waiting area of the Eye Center at Hershey.  

Yesterday was a day of appointments for Anna.  Once again, we were on the familiar road to Hershey, with the first stop being the retina specialist.  We were listening to WJTL as usual.  I hear a song intro, and once again, about a month later, "For Such a Time As This" comes on.  

For Such a Time As This

Wayne Watson

Now, all I have is now
To be faithful
To be holy
And to shine

Lighting up the darkness
Right now, I really have no choice
But to voice the truth to the nations
A generation looking for God

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this

You, Do you ever wonder why
Seems like the grass is always greener
Under everybody else's sky
But right here, right here for this time and place
You can live a mirror of His mercy
A forgiven image of grace

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this

Can't change what's happened till now
But we can change what will be
By living in holiness
That the world will see Jesus

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this

Songwriters: WAYNE WATSON

© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

For non-commercial use only.

Data from: LyricFind  

So what does it mean?  I don't know for sure, except that for the next few hours, "For such a time as this I was placed upon the earth, to hear the voice of God and do His will whatever it is" was playing in my head.  (It stopped playing in my head once we left Hershey.)  In part, I believe it means that there is a higher purpose for all that we experience on Anna's JA Journey.  Because I feel a sense of purpose, we are able to face little and big things with an overriding peace.  

Maybe I heard the song in my head because there was a young mom with a young baby who needed an eye procedure before Anna could use the procedure room for a steroid injection.  Because of the discussion about the room use and schedule (Anna had another appointment to get to later, and we needed to use the room in a timely way), we knew there was a baby there, and then as we waited, we heard that tiny baby scream and cry.  I told Anna, "That baby's mom needs us to pray for her."  And then as the baby's cries intensified, I told Anna, "This is about the time when an infant's mom starts crying, as well."  (All was okay afterward---the mama walked out with a peaceful infant sucking on a pacifier.)

Maybe it's a reminder that we are the "aroma of Christ," a reflection of God's love in our attitudes and actions as we encountered various people and situations and unexpected delays which made for a very long day and no opportunity to grab any lunch (we originally thought we would have adequate time to eat lunch and maybe get some shopping done---didn't happen!). Anna had a hunch that she would need a steroid injection in the eye yesterday.  The vision test was the worst I've ever seen (for the left eye).  The inflammation was quiet, but the macular edema was worse.  Anna explained to the assistant that the letters straight ahead were blurry, but she could see me (sitting to the side) clearly.   The OCT showed significant swelling in the back of the central part of her eyeball.  Anna was calm and accepting of the decision to inject, and the injection procedure was faster than the first time she had this done (last summer).  I still couldn't watch them stick a needle into her eye.

Anna then had a lengthy appointment with the rheumatologist.  Because the appointment was at the clinic in Camp Hill, Dr. S. didn't have the supplies needed for a steroid injection for the knee, which Anna has been needing for many weeks.  But we'll make another trip to Hershey on Thursday for that injection.  Something new, though---Anna said they will inject the steroid into her muscle instead of the joint.  I never heard of that.  (Has anyone else?)  Anna's liver enzymes are back within a normal range, so the dose of Methotrexate will be increased.  That should help both the joints and the eyes.

We appreciate, as always, the prayers of so many family members and friends.  We have seen some good things these past few weeks, even as Anna has struggled with a stiff knee and eye issues.  Attending a smaller private college has been a blessing.  Even though Anna does not yet have all the documentation in place to be "official" with the Office of Disabilities, she has talked with the Director of Housing, who graciously arranged for Anna to be on the first floor of the dorm for the summer, closest to the door and steps and walkways that lead to the center of the campus.  Anna has begun the second week of her summer job, working in an office on campus, which is better for her than some of the other summer job options that would have required more physical stamina.

We continue on this journey, knowing and accepting that we are here "for such a time as this,"  and praying that we can encourage others who are on a similar path.

Taking More Steps . . . . .

If you read my blog regularly, you know I usually have songs running through my head all the time!  I figure it's the soundtrack of my life.  The songs for this part of Anna's JA Journey are the same as some in the past.  Focusing on Steven Curtis Chapman; specifically his "Take Another Step" song that I've quoted before:  "Take another step, and another step, when the road ahead is long, and you don't know what to do---take another step . . ."

My conversations with the Lord are constant, but last week, my conversations with Jesus were more frequent and fervent.  Anna was seeing both of her doctors within two days of each other, and we had already resolved with the ophthalmologist that if there was no significant change in Anna's left eye by this week, we should make plans to see a uveitis specialist.  Anna had shared with me (at length as we drove home from an appointment two weeks ago) her concerns about the vision issues in her left eye.  The ophthalmologist had already explained his conclusions for why she's having the vision issues (she described them in detail to him at one appointment).  His thinking is that once the inflammation goes away and she no longer needs the dilating drop, her vision should clear up again.  I think Anna is getting tired of waiting for that to happen, and two weeks ago, the inflammation had decreased (at the appointment on Friday, it went back up to 1+), but her vision had not improved.  More frequent and fervent talks with Jesus (on my part, and I think on Anna's part, as well.)

So this week has been a turning point week---when we decide which steps to take in our journey.  Over the past few weeks, we were presented with two different options for a specialist to see.  My talks with Jesus involved entreaties for wisdom!  I once heard that to intentionally follow God's will often means doing the next wise thing (when He doesn't send down an e-mail from heaven, as I often long for Him to do!).  So while Anna was receiving her Remicade infusion on Friday afternoon, I began to make phone calls.  The wisest choice seemed to be the specialist in Philadelphia.  (The trip would be shorter, and cheaper, and the specialist is nationally known, and recommended by the pediatric rheumatologist.  We're familiar with the Wills Eye Institute, since my mom was treated there for ocular melanoma years ago.)

What seemed to be the wisest choice ended up being a closed door.  (I like closed doors sometimes---then it's easier to turn away and go to the other open door, instead of agonizing over the choice between the two.)  To get an appointment with the doctor in Philly meant a six-month wait (unless the doctor deemed otherwise, but he's away for two weeks).   Six months?!?!  Anna has had chronic uveitis (usually at 1+ inflammation or more) for the past 8+ months.  I don't want to wait another six months for some answers.  So I called Dr. Foster's office in Boston.  They could have made an appointment for September, but we decided on October instead, since Anna has a few days off school in the middle of the month.

Since we have to be on this journey, at least we can have
some adventures along the way.  I like Boston!  Anna doesn't remember our visit there in the summer of 2001---she was too young.  So she is eager to go again (and pinning some tips and places on Pinterest!)  I like to fly---and we're choosing to fly up and use public transportation (which we like to do in big cities.)

There's an older song that often flits through my head at various times.  I can't remember the artist, but it says, "For such a time as this, I am placed upon the earth, to hear the voice of God and do His will . . . "  I have no idea why we are on this journey or why we now need to go to Boston to see a specialist.  But I DO know that Jesus loves us beyond measure, and that He makes all things work together for good (maybe not right this minute, but eventually---God's time is not our time.  His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts---but He LOVES us).  So whatever the purpose--whatever the plan, we continue to take another step, and another step . . .