Friday, January 23, 2015

Accepting that which we have no control over . . . . . (and praying fervently)



Our plans to see the retina specialist hit a major speed bump, when said doctor got called into surgery this past Tuesday, the very day when Anna was supposed to see her.  I am not always a patient person.  In my mind, macular edema is a problem, and I just want to know (sooner rather than later) what our plan of action is going to be.  This is the second time an appointment with this specialist has been cancelled and rescheduled.  As I thought this change of plans through, I made sure to tell the scheduler that Anna's ophthalmologist  thought that Anna needed to see the retina specialist soon, and was even concerned that Tuesday's appointment was not as soon as he would have preferred, and that this is the second time we've been asked to reschedule.  The very best the scheduler could do is to make an appointment for this coming Monday at 8:00 a.m.

And now our local weather people (the ones who have a good handle on forecasting weather---the ones I trust the most!), are thinking that the morning commute on Monday is going to be a problem (snow Sunday night into Monday).  I'm still looking at all the pieces of this puzzle and figuring out what to do.  In my mind, rescheduling is not an option.  It's challenging to get an appointment with this doctor.  We have 20 miles to go, but on snow-covered roads, who knows how long that will take!  Maybe spending a night at a hotel in Hershey on Sunday would be the best option.  By the time Anna gets finished with the appointment (anticipating at least one test---an OCT, I'm certain), the roads will probably be much better.  I did call the Hershey Eye Center today, to see if they ever cancel appointments because of weather (didn't want to waste the time and money if the appointment would end up being cancelled by them anyway).  She said they never cancel for weather-related conditions.

We shall see what this weekend brings.  And we will get to Hershey on Monday morning.  On the bright side, maybe school will be cancelled on Monday, so Anna won't miss any classes!

I am confident that God is sovereign over those things I cannot control.  I've done everything I know to do within my boundaries.  (Really, it is not in my nature to scream and yell at the schedulers---this is not their fault, and it's not the doctor's fault that she was called into surgery---someone really needed her more than Anna and other patients needed her on Tuesday.)

Casting Crowns has a song called, "Already There," which helps me have some peace when there are so many circumstances beyond my control, and I can't see how everything is going to work out:

"Already There"

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

Oh, oh

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

Oh, oh, oh, oh

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit . . . . . 


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